Marriage is an entirely new chapter of life. It is when two people reach a level of understanding where they move towards giving the relationship a name and a legal status. It’s built on a lot of sacrifices and it can be the convergence of not only two people but two families as well. Your life seems complete in the presence of the one you love. A strong, independent, loyal and loving partner is all you can ever wish for.
However, things do not always go right. After years of companionship, miscommunications might built up. Whenever you and your partner talk, it’s like you both don’t get what the other is trying to say. You might have seen this in countless movies and even witnessed it in real life. Your marriage is hitting a low point and you have no idea how to pull you and your partner closer together.
All of this is perfectly normal. Marriages do face low points every now and then. It concerns two different people who have their own thoughts and ideas. So expecting a ‘happily ever after’ without any ups and downs is foolish. These misunderstandings can be overcome however.
Why do Couples Fight?
Experts say that 60 percent of the time couples fight is because they lack communication. You might not even realize it but when you start hiding things, that’s when you first put a crack in your bond. Marriage is the biggest commitment of trust you can make. It is accepting the flaws that each of you carry whether you see them or not.
You are not the first ones who have arguments and you will not be the last ones either. Fighting in a relationship is completely natural and is considered healthy. Some describe fighting as a means of communicating where no one listens to understand but only to reply back. But if you do pause and take your situation in objectively, you can overcome these issues.
Here are some of the reasons why a married couple may end up fighting:
The real world can be daunting and scary. Although you thought at the time that love would be enough, the real world has shown you that there is more to it than that. Practical life requires a handsome amount of money to fulfill your daily needs. 50 percent of couples end up arguing when there is a negative flow of income in the house. That means more money is going out as an expense than coming in.
A tight budget can make people stressful. The way to relieve stress is to talk it out or share your feelings but most often this does not happen. What starts out as a way to share pain ends up in an argument adding further stress on the relationship.
Having children should be a decision both of you need to make together. You must look at all the factors when doing so, including your financial situation, the strength of your bond as well as the time and place to have them. Children may be wonderful but they are a responsibility that you must be mentally ready for.
Most marriages don’t even take into regard their overall situation and that ends up stressing them out in the end. What’s worse is that if parents end up fighting in front of their offspring, it has a negative impact on the child mentally.
Not enough time:
You might be making a lot of money but ask yourself, do you give your spouse the right amount of time? Couples often fight because one may complain that there isn’t enough intimacy between them. This comes from spending quality time with your significant other. Failing to do so can end up in arguments and even doubts.
The human mind can be a vicious thing and can cook up some serious allegations towards your partner regardless of it being true. There is no going back once the doubts are in the air because now you have a crisis of trust. This leads to further fighting and bad blood between you and your partner.
An Effective Schedule to Get More Free Time For your Loved Ones
Tips on How to Save your Marriage:
Just when you’re about to give up remember why you started the first place. You need to remember that marriage is a vow taken to go through the mountains and the valleys that come in your way. Strength isn’t measured by physical finesse but by the courage to stay true to yourself and never give up. If you can save your marriage, you should not. If there is even a tiny bit of hope, hang on to that hope.
This doesn’t mean you allow someone to take advantage of your vulnerability but you are the best judge to decide if your relationship is worth fighting for. Once the answer is yes, here are some tips on how to save your marriage:
Remember to Love:
Most of the movies and stories we surround ourselves with nowadays speak about love and how it is a lasting energy. Something that binds two people together through life. However, most movies only show the positive sides to what love can be. They fail to address that there are moments that are dark. Moments that require both the partners to dig deep and remember what it is they love about their significant other the most.
You shouldn’t love each other through the good times but the bad times as well. Love is a commitment and a vow just like anything else. It is the only candle that may still light up if you try. If you fell in love with your partner, you must have fallen for who they were not what they showed you. This means there will be moments where they may seem ugly, depressing and even annoying. If you have accepted them then they will be the opportunities to make or break your relationship.
Always remember that the best thing about hitting rock bottom is that there is only one place left to go and that’s up . This little dip in life is nothing more than an opportunity to strengthen that bond with them.
Start over from Scratch:
Do you remember the first time you two shared a meal? The first time you ever danced or looked into each other’s eyes knowing that they were the one? Most marriages forget the simple moments and love they share together. These memories are the foundations with which the entire relationship lies on. If you are struggling with your love life then their is a book named Obsession Phrases which you can buy online and you can always give a read to the reviews on Obsession Phrases.
Both of you therefore need to have a fresh start. After having bickered and fought for weeks, it’s time to give that old dress a try. Take out the wedding albums and reminisce over the important moments you two shared together. Take some time off of work and show each other what really matters. The simple and small gestures are all you need to restart that spark in your relationship.
Go on a vacation together. The two of you spending time in hearing each other out outside of the confinement of your home can do wonders together. Exciting places like a remote beach off of the pacific or an amusement park or even a safari can allow for a brand new start. You will see the positive change that takes over both of you as you revert back to that state where you fell for them in the first place.
Understand, both of you are Imperfect:
Often time’s people forget that just like them, other people have flaws as well. They have scars, things they are afraid of and even trigger points that bring back past memories. When you get to know someone, you realize how delicate their situations are. You start to empathize with them and understand that they are just as imperfect as you.
Slowly down the line you may end up forgetting that bit of information. Life becomes meaningless as every day turns out to be exactly the same as the one before. The need for appreciation or intimacy may rise and without realizing it, you end up fighting over silly things.
Once you take into account that your partner has some things he/she deals with on their own, you start appreciating their strength. You start giving them space and allow them that support that they need. Everyone needs love but sometimes people forget how to receive it. This mostly happens due to a past wound or thinking they are not enough. You must make your partner realize that they are enough for you. You are happy with whatever little world you two have built together because in the end, that is all that your partner may ever wish to hear.
Stop taking each other for granted:
Most people do not realize it until it’s too late. Both of you are parts of a single unit and appreciation of your other half will end up reciprocating positively.
Appreciate the little habits your partner has whether it’s bringing home flowers or cooking your favorite dish. Thank them for having stayed with you for so long. Appreciate their efforts in helping raise children and providing you with strength on your darkest days. The most heartbreaking thing ever is putting in love and hard work for someone and them not appreciating it.
You feel undervalued and this results in confrontations that most likely end up with ill feelings. Many counselors advise couples on providing positive feedback to their significant other as it is better than saying nothing. When you say nothing, the other person feels their worth being insignificant. This problem has also led to affairs and people cheating because they end up looking for affection elsewhere.
Human beings are very predictive when it comes to simple emotions like love. Your marriage may have had a rough patch but the fact it’s still intact means both of you aren’t ready to give up. Nobody would be in your situation. Life is a series of event both good and bad and both of you need to understand that.
Never ever compare yourself with someone else. Everyone tries to hide their demons and you never know what other people had to go through to achieve that level of bond. When you compare your marriage to someone else’s, you immediately send a message of dissatisfaction to your significant other. This message could be heartbreaking because what if they are trying their level best and it is not good enough. Always dig deeper than what the outside layer might look like. You will realize some marriages fight a lot of battles together before they finally settle. Make the necessary efforts needed, and if it still doesn’t work out (sigh), be happy for the fact that at least you tried your very best.