Relationships are one of the most paradoxical things in life. How? Well, sometimes they show-up as something we had been missing in our lives and it becomes more than easy to bind oneself into a string as such, also often, you don’t even know what’s that is making your relationship so complicated when things used to be so simple once.
Some say, falling in love is easy; some equate it to walking on shells of fire. Yeah, I get you, relationships are confusing. But, does that stop us from getting into one? No! We love being in love. Actually, if it’s the right person, love indeed is one of the most beautiful things in life. Something you MUST have!
Getting into the alter-ego of a relationship, no one wants to get into a complication, or, worse than that, no one wants to go through a break-up. Break-ups are not as easy as the word itself seems. Breaking of heart is not as plain sailing as fictions show it to be. It takes years for people to get over relationships. It’s not just the love, it’s also the ‘habit’ of being around the other person and changing one’s life in accordance to them creates all the chaos in brea-ups.
So, the core thing is, it’s better to do some ‘precautionary management’ than to deal with a break-up, isn’t it? Ofcourse, it is always better to stay on the safe side. Often, we fail in relationships because we don’t know the basic rules. Yes, rules! Letting another person in your lifestyle and doing the same to the other requires a lot of ‘makeshifts’ and arrangements in order to keep the relationship moving smoothly. If it’s just a fling, it’s okay and it’s easy, but, if you are taking this person seriously and want them to be in your life, you must go with my advice.
Here are 10 things to do to avoid break-ups:
Call it discussion, talking, debating or just communicating, it is one of the most basic essentials in a relationship. If the other person doesn’t know how you feel about something, how is he/she supposed to sort it out for you. We are given a tongue for a reason, and it’s obviously more than just eating that it serves for. A relationship rests on the very grounds of communication. Often, it also so happens that a lack of communication breaks relationships that were seen as unbreakable before. You don’t necessarily need a problem to break-up, sometimes, just the deprivation of words that causes the detachments.
We often tend to have differences in opinions, and that is a very normal thing. Like i said earlier, these things can be sorted out with discussions. There is a thin line between a healthy argument and fight, and people tend to forget that. Apart from that, there can be many such reasons leading to arguments and one of the most popular ones is ‘acquisitions’. You accuse your partner of something which makes them defensive and this takes an ugly turn of a fight.
What to do then?
Talk it out! You can always, calmly tell your partner what about them is bothering you, and that you’ll be there for them no matter what…and see how this little confession turns out magical in your life. Again, never forget rule number 1.
Refrain from insulting your partner:
We all are one of a kind. We cannot help how the other person is. We cannot control their life as we have no rights on that. We never know what all the other person might have gone though to be this self they are today, neither do we know how their past has been. What we do know is that we did fall in love despite all the differences, and that’s what that matters. There are times when we touch that very point of their lives, which eventually turns up as an insult to them and that’s where things start becoming worse for you. We also, sometimes insult our partners while having arguments, which again, is not healthy for your relationship.
If you really love your partner, make sure you never insult them. ‘Respect’ is another significant glue that binds a relationship. Love your partner, and more than that, respect them. This’ll make your relationship strong, for sure.
Make time for your partner:
Relationships, new or old, always need time to grow and bloom. It doesn’t really matter what phase of a relationship you are in or what is going on in your life, you always need to make time for your partner. Relationship is a commitment that you make to your partner to make him/her a part of your life, wise are those who mean it. Everyone is busy in their respective lives, but that never means you have no time for your partner. Not spending enough time leads to distances and the end result is ‘break-up’.
Make time for each other; even if you are busy the whole week, make sure the weekends are fully given to your partner; make your partner feel special, and above all, keep loving each other, no matter what.
Relationship isn’t about barging your decision upon your partner. Like I said earlier, it is natural to have varied views and ideas on things, but that doesn’t mean you are correct and your partner is wrong or vice versa. You might just be looking at a 6 which your partner might be looking as a 9. It is just that! If your partner has a different opinion, it’s more than okay to support them. Sometimes, stooping for some decisions in a relationship makes it go longer.
Support your partner in their decisions, make them feel that whatever they have decided, may it be career, life or something else, you are fully supportive of that.
Do not neglect yourself:
If something is bothering you, if you are unhappy with something, if your needs are not fed, or anything of that sort, then make sure you let your partner know. Keeping things to yourself will eventually make you have hard feelings for them. Someday soon you may also blame them for your unhappiness when they are not even aware of your pain.
Just go ahead and talk to them about what is making you hurt. Have a calm conversation and get it all sorted. You’ll see that the problem that was bothering you was not a problem at all.
Never make a decision when you are angry:
Anger is the evilest of all. When you are angry, you are actually not using your mind.
It is always the fierce and the grudge that speaks for you, which eventually, you will end up regretting about. We always make wrong decisions about a relationship when we are angry.
Make sure none of the decision in your relationship is made when you are not in a good mood. Calm yourself up first and then talk it out. Things will run smooth this way.
Steal some quality time from your life for your partner:
Your relationship is never too old to get drenched in special moments. We make a number of promises to our partner in the beginning of a relationship, don’t we? We make them believe that everyday in the relationship would be special and every sunrise will bring a new beginning for us both. No doubt, it’s not always possible to do all of these. Life is not a holiday after all.
But it’s not tough to have some time set aside for just the two of you. Some weekends, some festivals…anything would do. Actually, it’s these little special moments that keep your relationship-wheel moving.
Discuss the decisions that affect both of you:
It’s good to make sure that your partner is equally involved in the decisions that you make for the both of you. We often take decisions in reflex, neglecting what our partner might think of it and end up getting in trouble. When it’s you both that the decision is going to affect, it’s necessary that the both of you have equal say in it.
Sit your partner down and discuss what plans you are making, what decision you have on a particular thing and listen to what they have to say about it. Discuss these stuff well and then make a decision. It is a long-run-relationship tip!
They say, some lies are harmless. I agree! If it’s a surprise you are planning for your partner or there is something really trivial that might bother your partner, then it is fine. But, if it is something really important, never lie. Everytime we lie, we end up eating away a part of their trust in us. These little lies harm our relationships in the long run.
It’s always better to be truthful and loyal to your partner. A lie might help you once, but it won’t help you forever!
The truth is, none of us are easy to date, be with, or please all the time. We have our vices, virtues and way of doing things that make us all unique in our own way. You might not like everything about your partner all the time, it’s impossible. This is life. It isn’t about having the perfect person, it isn’t about living a fairy tale with a happily ever after. It’s about having someone you are willing to work things out for in every situation and them doing the same for you. It’s the fine line between keeping your own space while walking along your partner that makes a relationship what it is.
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