Okay people, I’m working on filling in the blanks and finishing the final paragraphs now, but this is some weird stuff.

UPDATE:  Erased Slate has completed a transcription of page three, I cleaned up page two a bit.

UPDATE #3: Sledge from lost.cubit.net discovered that the text is lifted from a surveillance report that belongs to an online game.  Does this mean ABC will be sending the game’s creators a royalty check?  In light of that find, the whole text is reproduced below:

Thompson Investigations, Inc.

CASE DETAIL REPORT

Client Name(s): Allie Lamar, Walbert Dopelson
Contact: Lamar 234-XXXX, Dopelson 236-XXXX
Case Number: Lamar040326
Hire Date: 01/15/04
Report Date: 02/01/04

ACTIVITY REPORT

Followed the subject for seven days from January 25 through 31, 2004.

01/25/2004

Except for one trip to the mailbox, suspect never left 103 Pinecrest Drive, a single-story, wood frame home painted green and yellow. Three times, when subject had not passed a visible window for thirty minutes, subject answered the telephone and replied that Lee Chin did not live there.

The last light was extinguished at 10:05 p.m.

01/26/2004

Except for one trip to the mailbox, suspect never left 103 Pinecrest Drive. Two times, when subject had not passed a visible window for thirty minutes, subject answered the telephone and replied that Lee Chin did not and never had lived there.

The last light was extinguished at 11:35 p.m.

01/27/2004

Subject left home in yellow Volkswagen Beetle at 8:15 a.m and drove directly to Harvest Restaurant & Grocery, 1112 Van Buren Avenue. I followed suspect through the store as she shopped for food, filling a hand basket. She paid with cash and drove directly home, arriving at 9:27 a.m. Photographs are presented in Attachment A. Attachment A is not available to the public pending legal clearance.

Except for one trip to the mailbox, suspect never left 103 Pinecrest Drive again that day. When subject had not passed a visible window for thirty minutes, subject answered the telephone and replied that Lee Chin was in the shower and would return my call in fifteen minutes. I gave subject the number I keep for such occasions but no message was left.

The last light was extinguished at 11:35 p.m.

01/28/2004

Except for three trips to the mailbox, subject never left 103 Pinecrest Drive. When subject had not passed a visible window for thirty minutes, subject answered the telephone and replied that Lee Chin was dead, a victim of suicide.

The last light was extinguished at 12:18 am.

01/29/2004

Except for seven trips to the mailbox, subject never left 103 Pinecrest Drive. When subject had not passed a visible window for thirty minutes, subject answered the telephone, claimed I was Melissa f***ing with her, and demanded to know when I mailed her the prints.

The last light was extinguished at 2:30 am.

01/30/2004

Subject came out of the house at 8:15 am, set up a camping chair next to the mailbox, and proceeded to pace the front yard until the mail truck arrived at 12:32 p.m. Subject grabbed mail from letter carrier and ran into the house. Photographs are presented in Attachment A. Attachment A is not available to the public pending legal clearance.

Subject left home in yellow Volkswagen Beetle at 1:05 p.m. and drove directly to the health club. She stayed inside for fifty minutes. Subject drove directly home, arriving at 2:40 p.m.

Subject left home in yellow Volkswagen Beetle at 3:10 p.m. and drove directly to Sneed’s ACE Hardware, 1400 University Avenue, arriving at 3:18 p.m. After she had been inside for thirty minutes, I entered the store and was unable to locate subject. After determining that subject’s car was still parked in front, asked the clerk behind the counter if my sister had been in today, describing the subject. Clerk said she had and that she bought three cans of spray paint, one box of rubber gloves, and one tack hammer, paying in cash, before leaving by the rear door. Clerk didn’t remember colors of paint purchased. I checked the aisle and discovered fully stocked shelves with empty spaces in the rows containing the colors black, green, and red although I cannot positively confirm that the cans were stocked as indicated. I asked the store clerk if the register captured the part number of items purchased but he said he hadn’t scanned the cans of spray paint since he knew the price. I left the store by the rear door and checked the area by foot, but was unable to locate subject.

I returned to the store and again questioned the clerk. Clerk reported that subject used store phonebook to look up number for Oxford City Cab, then remained at counter and used her cell phone to have cab pick her up at Abner’s Restaurant, 430 S Lamar, and take her to Animal Clinic of Oxford, 2008 Harris Drive.

Drove various routes to Animal Clinic but did not sight subject. Visited Animal Clinic. Receptionist stated that she had not seen subject. Returned to ACE Hardware to find subject’s car gone.

I called client for instructions and was told to establish surveillance at subject’s home. The client said she would call me if the subject was sighted at the Yoknapatawpha County Conference Center.

Established surveillance on subject’s home. Subject returned home at 1:52 am.

The last light was extinguished at 2:25 am.

01/31/2004

Subject never left 103 Pinecrest Drive.

Client called at 9:10 am to inform me of the previous night’s vandalism.

The last light was extinguished at 11:35 p.m.

Surveillance completed.

INVESTIGATION FINDINGS

It is not possible to conclusively determine whether the subject was involved in the vandalism at Yoknapatawpha County Conference Center. Subject did purchase three cans of spray paint, plastic gloves, and a hammer on the day of the vandalism. Subject evaded surveillance for approximately ten hours, during which time the vandalism could have occurred.